Crying spells

I woke up this morning at the refreshing sound of the much-missed rain. El Niño has been tormenting and oppressing Manila for the past months. Summer must be almost over. I am taking the rain as a sign. Rainy days are about to begin. Much to everyone's gusto, I suppose. Then came across the horrible memories of Typhoon Ondoy.

I stretched out my arms and legs to welcome the day. It occurred to me that I have been missing work for the past 9 days straight. I have not returned since the recent national elections. I was supposed to be enjoying my long vacation, except that this is not really a vacation. I am forced to rest after my surgery and occasionally flex my right hand to speed up the healing process. Simple things that used to be easy like tying up my hair in a bun, holding the water-filled bathroom dipper to wash myself after peeing and pooping, opening a wine bottle, tearing apart those silver antibiotic capsule cases, holding a spoon or fork to eat, turning the sink tap to brush my teeth, even gripping a pen to write - all these are now too painful for me to do - the thought brought me to tears.

I was not sure anymore if it was just the rain. Or my period. Or the fact that I have been skipping work. Or the feeling of helplessness. Or the mere physical pain. But it all brought me serious crying spells.